Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
