You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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