4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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