I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
