We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So squirting runs in the family.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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