I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
