I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
