Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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