Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
