just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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