Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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