plz talk dirty to me
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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