Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We are all done wearing pants today
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
