it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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