She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
