no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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