while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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