Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
