Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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