the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
