whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
