Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
