Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
