Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love you.
Bad choice
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