you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
