so explain again why im purple
no
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
