is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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