Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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