yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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