I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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