Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Holy shit dude........stairs
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