Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
