Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
