hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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