you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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