Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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