we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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