This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
