Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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