Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Enjoy the penises
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
