I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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