Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
