i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
