either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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