someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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