I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
