so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
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I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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