Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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