Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
