You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
