when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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