My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
