yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
