I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
