I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
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