and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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