So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
