this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
