The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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