I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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