hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
