Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
