Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
