How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
