West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
