Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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