when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
